Carbon 4 (Rough Trade)
2021. Acrylic on canvas. 12 x 16 in.
I’ve been spending quite a bit of time on several individual works in the Carbon series. Some of the Carbons have come quickly; this one did not. I started it late last year, and only declared it finished in May. Over that time it changed almost completely; only some portions of the upper left remain from the beginning. At one point it had a bright warm red figure – the result of a Hail Mary pass. The remnants of red still glow beneath layers of white on the upper right. I actually had decided that that version was the final, months ago, and set it in the stack for signing and varnishing.
It made an interesting painting at that point, with the red; I even had a title and a sort of alternate life for it. But it wasn’t a painting I cared about. When push came to shove, I decided to press on.
I spent a LOT of time looking, putting it aside, then pulling it out and looking some more. I repeatedly painted over passages that I liked because they weren’t right for what was developing. After I’d covered over the red I felt a strong connection with this painting and knew I’d be pursuing it, whatever it took. Slowly it came into focus, but the final refinements still took a long time and lots of consideration.
Why am I telling you all this? Must not be very fascinating to read, I’m sure. But I’m having this experience increasingly – not with all my paintings, but with more and more of them. Especially the Carbon series. I’ve had several of those sitting in the stew pot for months now. I believe it’s because:
- I have a clearer sense of what I want;
- I have a clearer sense of what I can do;
- I have a clearer sense of how to do it; and
- I’m not willing to put up with less.
So that’s progress, I’d say. It’s a slow-moving but important development. It’s changed my tempo in the studio, the varieties of control available to me, the depth of satisfaction I feel. My commitment is deepening. Which is good, because not everybody is going to like the direction revealed by works like Rough Trade. So be it.